Long, long
ago in a land called Fossil Heaven, the greatest beasts of the forest were the
coal-eating dinosaurs. They had grown big and strong on eating coal which the
people of Fossil Heaven mined from deep underground to feed them and keep them
happy. In return the potentially fearsome dinosaurs provided electricity to
power their homes. Drax was a particularly well-liked coal-eating dinosaur who
would sit quietly in Yorkshire without causing anyone any trouble whilst
generating a large part of the electricity the people needed.
One day, the
climate changed. It was not an asteroid that landed on the earth as the
soothsayers had predicted but the people were horrified to learn that it was
the foul breath of the coal-eating dinosaur which was the cause. They met and
talked, and met and talked, and met and talked again, but could not decide what
to do. They liked poor old Drax (or his electricity) too much to put him out of
his misery as they continued to feed him coal. Then the FCED (Federation of
Coal-Eating Dinosaurs) had a bright idea; they would feed Drax on wood. People
leapt at this suggestion, so they could keep good old Drax after all and
everyone was happy.
Over the
months that followed, they scoured first the local area, cutting down the
forest and when all that was gone they brought wood from the other side of the
kingdom; and when all that was exhausted they starting bringing in wood across
the ocean from distant countries. Drax had such a big appetite that he was
always hungry and feeding him was taking more and more effort, but he generated
so much electricity that the people felt they could not get by without him.
Much later,
a new animal came along called the combined heat and power mammals (the CHPs).
These were small, clever and very efficient nibbling away at small quantities
of wood generating electricity and using the heat that would be wasted to heat
people’s homes. More and more people stated to feed the wood to the CHPs
because they got much more back for their efforts. Drax started to get angry
and threatened to stop making electricity unless he could have more wood to eat
or he was allowed to keep eating his favourite food, coal.
Finally, a
group of wise elders met and discussed what was to be done about Drax. He had
been a loyal servant to the people for so long but his time was up, his foul
breath was more than the climate of the kingdom could bear. They sent in a team
late at night whilst he was slumbering and put Drax to sleep. There followed a
funeral with great pomp as Drax was buried with honour. Above his grave the
good people of Fossil Heaven erected a plaque:
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